JACKBOOTED OBAMA HIRING RIOT POLICE IS THE NEW JACKBOOTED OBAMA STOCKPILING AMMUNITION

The latest paranoid theory making the right-wing rounds is that the Obama administration is preparing for food stamp riots starting November 1. The story's at Right Wing News now; I saw it at Alex Jones's Infowars a few days ago -- all sourced to a Neil Cavuto segment on Fox News (see clip below).

Here's how the Infowars story explains what's allegedly in the works:

Fox News' Neil Cavuto thinks the Department of Homeland Security's $80 million outlay on armed guards to protect government buildings is directly connected to food stamp cuts set to take effect on November 1st, a day on which all hell could break loose.





As Infowars first reported on Monday, the DHS announced its intention to hire a raft of new armed guards to prepare for "public demonstrations" and "civil disturbances" in upstate New York, adding that some of the guards would be posted outside IRS facilities.

Covering the story on his Fox News show, Cavuto said, "November 1st could be a very very iffy kind of a day....this could be all hell breaks loose day," noting that the armed guards were not to protect government buildings from terrorist threats but "From American citizens because on November 1st the food stamp program is set to start decreasing the amount that is allocated to food stamp recipients....and they're worried that violence will ensue."

Cavuto's concern that the cut in food stamp benefits could spark violence is legitimate given what happened when the EBT card system crashed for just hours earlier this month, prompting mini-riots and looting at several Walmart stores....

OK, let's back up. That Homeland Security announcement? It's this one, according to Infowars. It's dated October 10, 2013. And what does it say?

The Federal Protective Service (FPS) is conducting Market Research to locate qualified, experienced, and interested potential Small Business Sources capable of providing Protective Security Officers (PSO) Services throughout Upstate New York. A PSO is the equivalent of an Armed Guard II as set forth in the Department of Labor (DOL) Directory of Occupations....

The Contractor will be required to provide and maintain all management, supervision, manpower, training, equipment, supplies, licenses, permits, certificates, insurance, pre-employment screenings, reports, files and any other resources necessary to accomplish the security services. PSOs will be required to be armed and some posts may require screening of visitors using x-rays/magnetometers. All personnel supporting the Contract will be required to meet FPS training, certification, suitability standards....

I'll give you that date again: the notice was posted October 10, 2013. Does this bureaucratic-sounding notice really read like the start of a process that could have armed guards in place and ready for rioters three weeks later? Does such a process usually begin with "Market Research to locate qualified, experienced, and interested potential Small Business Sources," and -- in what would undoubtedly be a new speed record for the federal bureaucracy -- end with fully deployed riot cops in less than a month? Oh, and is "screening of visitors using x-rays/magnetometers" usually part of riot control? And why just in upstate New York? Why not in ... (tries to remember location wingnuts usually describe as the embodiment of pure evil) ... CHICAGO?

This is clearly just one of many such procurement and personnel announcements put out on an ongoing basis by the feds. This would have happened under President Bush, and it will happen if we have a President Christie or Cruz. But the right -- not just the easily dismissed crazies of the Alex Jones-o-sphere but supposedly respectable Fox, wants you to believe this is about FOOD STAMP RIOTS ARGH ARGH ARGH!!!!1!1!

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Now, please note the illustration accompanying the Right Wing News post on this subject:





And note how the Right Wing News post begins:

Fasten your seatbelts; we could be in for some applied Alinskyism on November 1....

Wait -- I'm confused. Is the problem that Obama's preparing a repressive police-state riot squad? Or is the problem that he wants food stamp riots? Wingnuts, I know you keep telling me Obama is the embodiment of pure evil ... but on which side?

Well, both -- obviously:

Now why would America's first more or less openly communist president want to reduce food stamp handouts?

... Readers will recall that in case Republicans failed to capitulate to the shutdown maneuver, Obama was prepared to cut off food stamps and have his media blame it on the GOP. If getting predictably shafted by Senate RINOs like John McCain was enough to make Boehner cave, imagine how fast seeing Detroit go up in flames again would have sent his white flag into the air.

... The crux of Alinskyite community organizing is to make people miserable and make them think your enemies are to blame....

The media will have no difficulty channeling their anger at the Tea Party and even at quasi-socialist moderate Republicans or anyone else who could present so much as a speed bump in the way of resistance to oligarchical collectivism.

So Obama is assembling a goon squad of jackbooted thugs and stirring up a mob of angry poor people simultaneously! He's organizing both sides! Even Hitler didn't do that!

(Obama cooks up such elaborate schemes, I don't know how he has time to play golf.)

Please remember this conspiracy theory when I tell you that you shouldn't dismiss right-wing arguments just because they're illogical. Millions of right-wingers will believe anything negative about the president and other Democrats, and will agree with any and all reasons to be angry at Obama and other Democrats -- illogic and self-contradiction don't matter.