Michele Bachmann has decided not to run for another term in the House. She was facing a tough reelection fight against Democrat Jim Graves, and she's under an ethics cloud:
The most glaring problem for Bachmann, though, may be a swirl of investigations into her campaign finances. The Federal Election Commission and the Office of Congressional Ethics are investigating whether her campaign concealed payments to an Iowa state senator who did work for her 2012 presidential bid. (A state ethics law bars senators from doing paid campaign work.)Wait: a proud constitutional conservative and fervent believer in limited government is under investigation by the FBI -- part of Antichrist Eric Holder's Justice Department -- and the GOP and right-wing noise machine aren't rushing to her defense? No one's calling this a witch hunt? No one's claiming that this is part of the Obama jihad against True Patriots? No one's dismissing the other investigations as traffic-ticket stuff?
And late last week, Minnpost.com reported that the FBI would be joining the investigation and interviewing a former Bachmann chief of staff.
Well, obviously the GOP establishment considers Bachmann a liability -- it's done no pushback on her behalf. A couple of months ago there was speculation that she might run for the Senate against Al Franken (even though polls showed that she'd be crushed) -- but whether she ran for the Senate seat or just for reelection, she was likely to be a Todd Akin, a loose cannon saying things that would rub off on other Republican candidates across the country, at a time when party establishmentarians like Karl Rove are hoping to hold the House and win back the Senate by de-Akinizing their candidate list.
(Recall that just before the Iowa straw poll in 2011, a story appeared in the Daily Caller claiming that Bachmann engages in "heavy pill use" to combat severe migraines, after which Rove called for her to release medical records. She won the straw poll anyway, driving establishment favorite Tim Pawlenty out of the race, though her campaign imploded a few months later.)
So, yeah, the GOP wanted to nudge her out of the way, and not gently. She's outlived her usefulness.
But but but... what of diversity, of affirmative action, of Title IX equal access? How will we ever get by without a token only woman in congress* married to a gay man!?
ReplyDelete*pun intended
ROTFLMAO
I am going to miss her.
ReplyDeleteNo worries for Michele Bachmann, and her wife, Marcus.
ReplyDeleteThey’ll be a big hit on “The Wingnut Rubber-Chicken and Knitted Dumplings Circuit.”
And, after awhile, she won’t have to actually give any speeches. She’ll just stand at the front and shout out numbers from a piece of paper in her hand, and the audience will have heard her same old schtick so many times, that they’ll know everything by heart.
So, “1,” will meant that “Blah” SocialistFascistCommunist President and his multinational pals at the UN, are comin’ fer yer shootin’ ‘n golfin’ ahrns!
And, “7,” will mean APBenghziIRS-gate, and the nefarious doings here, by Eric Hold-over, spying on journalists so he can know which of the endless new scandals they’re working on, and trying to nip them in the bud for his “Blah” butt-buddy, the President; and over there, by “President” Barack Hussein Kenyan O’blackie, trying to make Congressional Republicans look bad for cutting the State Department’s security budgets, and that Lesbian, Hillary, who took advantage of his conspiracy, and who had killed her old male lover, Vince Foster, and now arranged the attack on the consulate in Libya, to eliminate her current boy-toy, the Ambassador, so this time, there’d be no blood, or shattered watermelon, on her hands; and then back over here, trying to prevent the Patriots from getting tax-exempt status – which obviously succeeded, because EVERYONE KNEW that Romney and Ryan had that election in the bag!
And, “69,” won’t mean what you think it means – you filthy-minded degenerate Liberal perverts – but the way the Feds are trying to screw her and her wife Marcus, by investigating her ’12 Presidential campaign.
And the crowd his laugh and laugh, and scream HUZZAH!!”, and, DOWN WITH NIGRAH TYRANNY!!!”
And they’ll go back to their compted hotel room after the rousing reception, and Michele will quietly work on tomorrows numbered speech, while Marcus surfs the internet, looking for altar-boy p*rn.