LaPIERRE, NUGENT, AND THE RIGHT-WING NANNY STATE

The Daily Caller has published a crazy, fact-challenged manifesto by the NRA's Wayne LaPierre titled "Stand and Fight." It envisions America as a hellscape in which a brutally violent death is all but guaranteed to anyone who isn't armed to the teeth -- at least in the brief time remaining before Barack Hitler confiscates all the guns:

... Latin American drug gangs have invaded every city of significant size in the United States. Phoenix is already one of the kidnapping capitals of the world....

... the border today remains porous not only to people seeking jobs in the U.S., but to criminals whose jobs are murder, rape, robbery and kidnapping. Ominously, the border also remains open to agents of al Qaeda and other terrorist organizations.

... Meanwhile, President Obama is leading this country to financial ruin, borrowing over a trillion dollars a year for phony "stimulus" spending and other payoffs for his political cronies. Nobody knows if or when the fiscal collapse will come, but if the country is broke, there likely won't be enough money to pay for police protection. And the American people know it.

Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face -- not just maybe. It's not paranoia to buy a gun. It's survival....

People who believe that this is an accurate picture of American society -- and such people seem to number in the millions -- must find it utterly mind-boggling that many of us leave the house every day completely unarmed, and actually believe we'll return home at the end of the day alive and unscathed. And in fact, most of us do, day after day. How is this even possible?

(Well, it helps that LaPierre's facts don't always stand up to scrutiny -- for instance, the notion that Phoenix is a global capital of kidnapping is a complete crock.)

When I read LaPierre's rant, I was reminded of something Ted Nugent said as he was preparing to attend the State of the Union address -- unarmed!

Nugent said he felt awkward not being able to carry a weapon into the building.

"I'm butt naked. I've never been so naked in all my life. If something happens, you're gonna have to call somebody else because I can't do squat to help you right now. I don't even have a pocket knife on me. Can you feel the pain? I did retain my flashlight though. I said, 'Can I bring a flashlight with me?' This is so weird. This is so un-American," Nugent said.

Does Nugent actually believe this? Does he think danger is so ever-present that going (presumably) from the hotel to the car to the halls of Congress without guns or knives puts him at mortal risk? At the very least, I'm sure a lot of rank-and-file gun absolutists were nodding in agreement when they read that.

Right-wingers frequently complain about what they call the liberal "nanny state" -- as they see it, liberals believe ordinary elements of human life, large sodas and bicycles ridden without helmets and little kids blowing out candles at birthday parties, are dangerous and need to be policed and restricted.

But who believes ordinary life is more dangerous than right-wingers? You can never leave the house without your concealed-carry weapons, and your open-carry weapons! You're at constant risk of being kidnapped by Latin American drug gangs, or Al Qaeda! (LaPierre also says that one of "the daunting forces we will undoubtedly face" is "the possibility of Euro-style debt riots.")

Gunners just want to police their nanny state a bit differently. Their preferred police force is a self-appointed army of supposed rugged individuals all fired up by NRA groupthink, and all heavily armed in the belief that opportunities to confront mortal peril are everywhere at all times, and they're the people best equipped to play hero.

But their fear is constant, so they're the worst nanny-staters of all. They insist on their right to be our fully strapped, lock-and-loaded nannies.