S.E. CUPP'S LIBERAL DERANGEMENT SYNDROME

First of all, do I get anything for correctly telling you folks all these months that Sarah Palin is running for president? Just askin'.

Now that I got that out of the way, can we talk about people who have a really bad derangement syndrome? I'm referring to Sarah Palin supporters. They have liberal derangement syndrome. They're just beside themselves with rage and vitriol whenever they encounter a Palin opponent -- they're compelled to say preposterous, enraged things about us because they simply can't endure the notion that Palin opponents exist. How dare we? What's the hell is wrong with us? Why can't we simply fall into lockstep?

Consider S.E. Cupp of the New York Daily News (she's a frequent contributor to Fox News and Townhall):

...for [Palin's] detractors, nothing raises the ire of cynical liberals more than a happy-go-lucky, totally unburdened, freethinking and self-assured conservative woman who has everything she wants and then some. And without anyone's help.

Sure, she'll tell you that Todd, her parents and her children are an invaluable support system. But ... Sarah Palin has made it ... on her own. John McCain's imprimatur certainly launched her into the national spotlight, but she became the youngest and first female governor of Alaska all on her own.

How dare she?

Liberalism, after all, needs to imagine an unhappy populace. Passing sweeping entitlement programs and convincing voters that big government is the answer only works if people are frustrated with their stations in life....

Oh yes, you're so right, S.E. We hate Palin because we want everyone to be poor, sick, and on public assistance -- even ex-governors, TV stars, authors of #1 New York Times bestsellers, and possible future presidents. In fact, that's our secret plan for global domination: outlaw happiness! Shoot smilers on sight! Confiscate the money of anyone who's financially comfortable and living a pleasant life, then give the money to ... nobody! That's our wealth redistribution plan!

Ban attainment of goals! Everyone must fail at everything, all the time! Misery uber alles!

You know what our ideal unemployment rate is? 100%! Not only do we want everyone to be a miserable person who's entitled to receive public assistance, we don't want anyone to have a job providing that public assistance! We want everyone on food stamps, but we don't want anyone growing food! That would be gainful employment for the farmers! It might make them happy! We can't have that!

This is how we're going to take over -- and it's a foolproof plan, right? After all, when things suck economically and seem likely to suck indefinitely and people are persistently broke and miserable, they just love Democrats, right? Wasn't that just proved convincingly a few weeks ago at the polls?

I'm mocking S.E. Cupp, but, see, I read a lot of right-wing bilge, and people like Cupp actually believe we liberals think this way. They think we resent Palin not because she's an ignorant, spiteful demagogue-wannabe, but because she's happy.

They're deranged.