HEY, GREG, THERE'S ALREADY A GAY CLUB DOWN THE STREET FROM CORDOBA HOUSE

Greg Gutfeld of Fox's late-night smug-chortle-fest Red Eye thinks he's being extremely clever when he informs us that he wants to open a Muslim-oriented gay bar next to the proposed Cordoba House. Har-har-har -- because, y'know, the Cordoba House folks couldn't possibly endure being so close to all that homosexuality, could they?

Well, a bit of searching turns up the fact that there's already a gay club -- or a lesbian club, or at least a part-time lesbian club -- down the street from the proposed Cordoba House. The address of Cordoba is 51 Park Place; at 27 Park Place, there's Club Remix, which shows up at OutAdvisor.com's Gay Travel Reviews because LipStik Productions runs a "Latin dance for women every 1st and 3rd Saturdays of the month only." The place hedges its bets, though, and appears not to please everyone -- one (presumably straight) guy at Yelp.com says:

Visited this place for the first time last night. Oh my I don't know where to begin... First off this was a Saturday night, now this club has two different entrances, for 2 different areas... One side was for a "gay" party, so inadvertently at first my friends and I entered the gay section, until we were told that we should be on the other side. After going to the other side, we were now informed that Saturday Night is "Big Girls" night... Okay, I feel you, Big Girls need loving too...

While another Yelper (not male, and presumably not straight) grumbles:

Alright! If you are a LESBIAN... DO NOT GO ON SATURDAYS. I tried to call this dumb club 20 times in one week. It was my girls birthday and needed a good spot. Left 5 - F I V E messages and no one called me back EVER! To make matters worse. Me and 10 of my friends show up anyways thinking let's try it out. We have heard good things. What I am about to say is strictly my opinion and I do not intend to hurt anyone's feelings. THIS CLUB ON SATURDAYS IS FOR THE OVER 300LBS CLUB! Seriously, I am not kidding! I am a big girl myself. About 190lbs. But JESUS! Anyways, don't go on Saturday if you are gay!

So what have I learned from this? Number one, if you build anything culturally conservative in New York, you're going to be surrounded by stuff that's not at all culturally conservative. (And you can't live here for any length of time without knowing that, so I strongly suspect that the Cordoba House people wouldn't react to a next-door gay bar in a way that would fulfill Greg Gutfeld's most sophomoric hopes.)

And number two, a lot of people really don't like walking through a club full of fat women. That doesn't seem fair. Hey, folks, lighten up.