PRESIDENT JOHN McCAIN...

... showed up twice in the first eight and a half minutes of ABC's news broadcast this evening -- once grumbling about the fact that failed presidential candidate Barack Obama still hasn't deployed additional troops to Afghanistan (anchorman Charlie Gibson to foreign-affairs correspondent Martha Raddatz: "When John McCain says something like that, you wonder if it reflects what military leaders are saying privately"; Raddatz said the answer is no), and once angrily demanding that failed presidential candidate Barack Obama make changes in the swine-flu vaccine program. Failed presidential candidate Barack Obama, understandably, didn't show up in the broadcast until about the ten-minute mark, when he was seen signing the hate-crimes bill.

Hail President McCain!