I WOULD SO WATCH THIS

If the fair-'n'-balanced folks devoted a massive amount of airtime to an inept, endless, probably tedious, easily debunked audio forgery intended to destroy the Obama campaign? I think that would be awesome:

A final agreement has been reached between African Press International (API) and Fox News Network (USA) on the dates to air the Michelle Obama tape arising from a discussion Mrs Obama had with the API two weeks ago. The show will take place any day/time from now, with a 15 minutes alert on when it is to take place. Other programmes will be interrupted. This is a precaution taken to avoid interference from any quarter.

In the agreement, Fox News Network will broadcast 39 minutes of the 54 minutes long tape. The whole tape cannot be aired unedited due to security reasons and especially due to the explosive political temperature in the country because of the Presidential elections that is just around the corner, November 4th....

You remember this story: Michelle Obama -- married to the man running the most disciplined presidential campaign in living memory -- is alleged to have picked up a phone and called this obscure African news site (a glorified blog) and ranted (now, we're told, for nearly an hour!) about her husband's birth status, in what doesn't exactly sound like English as spoken by a Princeton-educated Chicagoan ("There is no shame in being adopted by a step father. All dirt has been thrown onto my husband's face and yet he loves this country"). Oh, and fifteen minutes of what she said can't be aired for security reasons!

But there's more:

Six hours after the release of information by API on the planned broadcast by Fox News Network of the Michelle Obama tape, in accordance with an agreement that has been reached between API and Fox News Network, API was contacted by Obama’s Campaign Manager.

...Obama’s campaign manager contacted API by telephone and email offering 3 million US dollars followed with a request to API to cancel the deal with Fox News Network.

No, really, it's true! And that's the second bribe offered!

Ten days ago API received the first request to accept 2 million US dollars by Mr Ed Hale, President of Plains Radio, Texas - USA, in an effort to suppress the information from reaching the public before the coming US Presidential elections....

That part could almost be kinda-sorta true -- you see, Ed Hale actually might have wanted the tape (and been stupid enough to believe it actually exists) because he ran full-page newspaper ads on behalf of the PUMA cause before the Democratic convention, and he runs a well-publicized PUMA Web site. He's also insisted that he heard Michelle's "whitey tape" (see a screen shot of his site here) and that he's seen Barack Obama's Kenyan birth certificate (odd, since Michelle on the API tape says he was born in Hawaii).

Oh, and API also says Hale has misrepresented e-mails he sent to API, in ways I'm not borderline delusional enough to grasp.

This would be excellent TV -- a crudely forged tape, a PUMA guy with too much time and money on his hands, Philip Berg (the ethically challenged lawyer who keeps filing lawsuits claiming Barack Obama is ineligible to be president, who was retained as an API attorney and who's Hale's pal) ... mix in Sean Hannity and I'm canceling all plans to watch.

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UPDATE: API now claims that the tape will be played on the Sean Hannity and Greta Van Susteren shows on Fox "in less than 24 hours" -- or "any time from this day" (the post header and text don't seem to be in agreement on this point). Yee-haw! Bring on the inept forgery!

We're told elsewhere that "The impact the tape is expected to have on National Security when finally released will be huge." If this exists, what the hell did the forgers put in it? Michelle Obama reveals America's nuclear launch codes?