A BLACK GUY DID IT

Usually, it's "a black guy raped me" or "a black guy put my kids into a car and pushed them into a lake." Never before have I heard "a black guy made me offer him twenty bucks so I could give him a blowjob. "

TITUSVILLE - State Rep. Bob Allen told police he was just playing along when a undercover officer suggested in a public restroom that the legislator give him oral sex and $20 because he was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Thursday.

[...]

"I certainly wasn't there to have sex with anybody and certainly wasn't there to exchange money for it," said Allen, R-Merritt Island, who was arrested on charges of soliciting prostitution.

"This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park," Allen, who is white, told police in a taped statement after his arrest. Allen said he feared he "was about to be a statistic" and would have said anything just to get away.

I didn't know it was possible, but State Rep. and former McCain campaign operative Bob Allen just may have found the limits of the "a black guy did it" defense. But I've been wrong before.

Pam Spaulding points out that the police report doesn't exactly support Allen's version of events, so his acquittal may rely entirely on his lawyer somehow picking a jury that has every season of OZ on DVD.

The officer: “I was standing against the far wall of the stall. Allen closed the door behind him and stood against it. I said “what’s up” and Allen said “Hi.” Allen then said “this is kind of a public place isn’t it.” I said “do you have somewhere else where we can go?” Allen said “How about across the bridge it’s quite [sic] over there.” Allen engaged me in a conversation in which he agreed to pay me $20.00 in order to perform a “blow job” on me.”

Stocky black guys are apparently telepathic.