AND NEXT WEEK, A DISTINGUISHED PANEL OF DEATH-METAL LYRICISTS WILL BRIEF THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL ON THE LIKELY MEDICAL IMPACT OF BEING EATEN ALIVE BY THE CORPSE OF SATAN

Your government at work:

Looking to prevent the next terrorist attack, the Homeland Security Department is tapping into the wild imaginations of a group of self-described "deviant" thinkers: science-fiction writers.

"We spend our entire careers living in the future," says author Arlan Andrews, one of a handful of writers the government brought to Washington this month to attend a Homeland Security conference on science and technology.

Those responsible for keeping the nation safe from devastating attacks realize that in addition to border agents, police and airport screeners, they "need people to think of crazy ideas," Andrews says.

The writers make up a group called Sigma, which Andrews put together 15 years ago to advise government officials.

Hmmm ... that would have been 1992, when the previous administration was winding down and running on fumes. Did these folks brief anyone on Poppy's crew?

The last time the group gathered was in the late 1990s, when members met with government scientists to discuss what a post-nuclear age might look like, says group member Greg Bear....

Well, if that means Clinton people met with these folks, I'm disappointed.

I don't get this, nor did I get the idea, from the immediate post-9/11 era, that Hollywood action filmmakers would be able to help the government by brainstorming terrorist scenarios. (We were looking for novel, unexpected scenarios from Hollywood? When was the last time anyone in Hollywood had a new idea?)

The administration won't listen to people who actually have expertise, actually have a pretty good idea of what might take place -- yet periodically we're told it's a swell idea to listen to people who are just guessing. You want a deviant, crazy idea? Here was one: Bin Ladin Determined to Strike in U.S. Why didn't the administration pay attention to that? Because it didn't come in a paperback book with a robot babe on the cover?