Marshall Wittmann has been hired as Joe Lieberman's spokesman. The New York Times story on Wittmann seems as if it's meant to be "poking gentle fun," but I think if you were a typical Times reader -- reasonably well informed but not a political maven, and heretofore unaware of Wittmann -- he'd come off as a jerk with no real convictions, and you might be wondering (admittedly, way too late) about Lieberman's judgment:

Senator Joseph I. Lieberman announced Tuesday that he had hired a new spokesman, which is not in itself that noteworthy, except that the said spokesman, Marshall Wittmann, is one of the great career vagabonds, ideological contortionists and political pontificators ever to inflict himself on a city full of them.

To say that Mr. Wittmann defies classification is like saying Paris Hilton defies modesty....

Mr. Wittmann ... is a Trotskyite turned Zionist turned Reaganite turned bipartisan irritant turned pretty much everything in between -- including chief lobbyist for the Christian Coalition, the only Jew who has ever held that position....

You know, I think a lot of moderate and even liberal Connecticut voters persuaded themselves that Joe's war stance wasn't extreme -- he wanted the troops home, too, didn't he? But the Christian Coalition -- that's weird. That's extreme. (And if they're thinking that, this time they're right.)

Here's more:

"I think I'm the only person who has worked for both Cesar Chavez and Linda Chavez," Mr. Wittmann said of the union pioneer who inspired him in the 1970s and the conservative Republican whose Senate campaign in Maryland he joined in the 1980s.

"I think I'm the only person who's worked for both Ralph Reed and Bruce Reed," Mr. Wittmann added, referring to the former executive director of the Christian Coalition and the top lieutenant to former President Bill Clinton.

Ick. In addition to being politically shallow, Wittmann comes off as a grade-schooler who's trying to be clever for the grown-ups so they'll pat him on the head and give him a lollipop.

More:

...He suffered through a two-year dry patch from 2002 to 2004 when he was a spokesman for Senator John McCain, the Arizona Republican, a job that largely required him to suppress his inner quotemeister for his boss's even-more-impressive knack for drawing attention.

...After leaving Mr. McCain's office, he joined the moderate Democratic Leadership Council as a senior fellow, a position whose mandate was not exactly clear but allowed him to once again be quoted....

The ego has landed!

This part of Wittmann's C.V. brings up another question: If John McCain somehow gets the GOP nomination, do you think he might pick Lieberman as his running mate? McCain's need to please GOP litmus-testers will clearly be diminished after the primaries. And really, why not Joe? Right-wingers have proved this year that they love him.

(A tangential thought: Isn't the right-wingers' embrace of the pro-choice, pro-gay rights Lieberman a sign that Giuliani has a chance with them?)

A McCain-Lieberman ticket would alienate social conservatives, but unless there's a serious third-party challenger on the right, those voters will have to hold their noses and vote for McCain to prevent the rise of (probably) The Evil Hitlery. And, of course, the commentariat will plotz -- if John picks Joe, the paroxysm of ecstasy among elite Beltway scribes will be measurable on seismological equipment half a continent away.

I don't think we'll ever get to find this out, however -- I think the GOP nominee will be either a litmus-test passer or, if the party wants a superstar, Rudy rather than John. But if John does get it, my money's on Joe for the #2 slot.

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UPDATE: At Tapped, Mark Schmitt speculates that McCain will lose the Republican nomination and then conduct a third-party run with Lieberman. Sorry, but that's just not going to happen. Both men have too much respect for the GOP to do that; all the right-wingers who pal around with Lieberman and all the right-wingers McCain is desperate to pal around with will tell them not to do it -- mustn't help elect Hillary! And so they won't. (Also, for Lieberman, doing whatever hurts the '08 Democratic nominee, even if it's the centrist Hillary, will be not just a favor to his GOP pals but revenge for '06, served cold.)