Friday, June 30, 2006

SCRAPBOOKING FOR FASCISM

Well, not scrapbooking exactly: Some idiot from Free Republic took a cutesy-wootsy thank-you card, added text to it, and posted it on eBay under the heading "Osama thank you card sent to treasonous NEW YORK TIMES."

Bids are up to thirty bucks.

Text of card:

Billy:
 
Praise be to Allah the most merciful.  As I continue to hide in caves, live with real smelly women, and run from the American infidel swine, I don't often receive good news.  My heart sunk lower than camel dung when I heard what they did to the Z-man's safe house.  Praise be to Allah, may he be enjoying the virgins.
 
May Allah heap rewards on you for your story that leaked what your government was doing to my friends' money.  Thanks to you, we have renewed hope, and with Allah's great power, we will drive the infidels out of our sacred land.  We will beat them like a mullah would beat his Persian rug or teenage daughter who dared to show her knee.
 
As Allah is my witness, when it is time for us to strike again deep into the heart of the infidel, we will do our best not to destroy your New York Times building.  Just in case, my brother in law sells insurance.  You two need to talk.  Don't worry, I've told him about you.  He won't slit your throat.
 
Please pass friendly greetings for me to The Murtha, The Perky One, The Perjuring One, and The One Who Flies on a Broom.  May Allah forgive me, but I could tell you stories about how I defile the One Who Flies on a Broom in my dreams.  She is so hot and would look wonderful in a burqa.  
 
Your pal forever,
 
Osama


Thirty bucks. Someone would pay thirty bucks for that. Right-wingers sure know the value of a dollar, don't they?

(By the way, for those not hep to the lingo, "The One Who Flies on a Broom" is Hillary. "The Perjuring One" is probably Kerry, and "The Perky One" is, if I'm not mistaken, Katie Couric; it is generally assumed on the right that Couric consults regularly with Michael Moore, Dan Rather, Pinch Sulzberger, John Murtha, Nancy Pelosi, and Ward Churchill on plans to hand America over to the dark lords of Islamofascistan. I can't believe I know all this.)

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