Hey -- it's Marriage Protection Week, officially proclaimed by the White House and co-sponsored by such fine organizations as the Christian Coalition, William Bennett's Empower America, and Phyllis Schlafly's Eagle Forum. As a married guy, I suppose I should be happy about this -- except I'm struggling to figure out what exactly my marriage needs to be protected from. Oh yeah -- I guess it has to be protected from a five-year-old boy named Nicolaj:

Eva Kadrey and Camille Caracappa had been a couple for five years before they decided to have a family together.

With the help of an anonymous sperm donor, Ms. Kadrey became pregnant. In March 1998, with Ms. Caracappa and her mother in the delivery room, Ms. Kadrey gave birth to a boy. The couple named him Nicolaj, after Ms. Kadrey's father.

For two years, the two women and their son were part of Ms. Caracappa's large and boisterous extended family in the Jersey Shore area, spending birthdays and holidays together. Then, in October 2000, Ms. Caracappa, an oncology nurse, died of a brain aneurysm at age 38.

The following month, with the support and urging of Ms. Caracappa's mother, Ms. Kadrey — who had been a stay-at-home mother to her son — applied for Social Security survivor benefits for Nicolaj. But the Social Security Administration denied the request, saying that the child did not meet the agency's test as Ms. Caracappa's legal survivor. The two women were not legally married, as New Jersey law does not allow same-sex marriages, and Ms. Caracappa was not Nicolaj's biological mother....

Yeah -- it's a good thing we're not giving this kid the Social Security benefits I got when my father died. That would just destroy my marriage, and the marriages of all straight people.