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Oh, you're missing some amazing stories. Like this one:
California Man Symbolically 'Adopts' Wife's Two Aborted Fetuses
A California man has signed papers to symbolically "adopt" and give his last name to his wife's two aborted fetuses.
Stan Musil said he filed the posthumous "adoption" on Monday as a way to support his wife, Lisa, and help her heal from the pain of having those abortions, Lisa Musil told FOXNews.com.
I should point out that "file" doesn't mean "file" exactly.
... Musil, now 45, had her first abortion at 19 because she was too frightened to admit her pregnancy to anyone -- including her then live-in boyfriend, the Assist News Service reported.
But terminating the pregnancy caused her so much pain that she tried to cover it with "drugs, alcohol, partying and a promiscuous lifestyle," she told radio host Rich Buhler in an interview with KBRT AM-740.
That lifestyle led to her second pregnancy -- and subsequent abortion -- just before she was due to serve a jail sentence for a drunken driving conviction, ANS reported.
... To try to cope with [the] pain, Lisa Musil turned her efforts to honoring those who have gone through abortions.
"It’s been a desire of mine to establish a memorial where post-abortive women can go to have the names of their aborted children engraved to honor their remembrance," she said. "As this is coming to fruition, I was wondering what last name I would put on this memorial, and my sweet husband asked if we could find some way he could legally adopt my babies and then they could take his name."
Upon hearing about Stan's idea, Buhler put the Musil's in contact with adoption law expert and NightLite Christian Adoptions Executive Director Rod Stoddart.
... Stoddart drafted paperwork that reflected the Musils' desire for the adoption before each other, God and witnesses, which the couple signed on Buhler's radio show....
Does the notion of "filing" and "paperwork" that these people have remind you of something? This, perhaps?
Shopkeeper: All right, all right, all right. A licence.
Shopkeeper: For a fish.
Shopkeeper: You are a looney.
Customer: Look, it's a bleeding pet, innit? I've got a licence for me pet dog Eric, and I've got a licence for me pet cat Eric...
Shopkeeper: You don't need a licence for your cat!
Customer: I bleeding well do, and I got one. He can't be called 'Eric' without it...
Shopkeeper: There's no such thing as a bloody cat licence.
Customer: Yes, there is!
Customer: I bleeding got one...look! What's that, then?
Shopkeeper: This is a dog licence with the word 'dog' crossed out, and 'cat' written in, in crayon.
But back to the Musils. That "memorial where post-abortive women can go to have the names of their aborted children engraved to honor their remembrance"? It's apparently really being built:
When the intended memorial is erected at Pierce Brothers Crestlawn Memorial Park in Riverside, Calif., it will include the names the Musils gave the aborted fetuses -- Alicia Anne Musil and Vincent Matthew Musil.
I wonder if this is going to go Mormon eventually -- you know, anti-choicers deciding that memorializing and "adopting" and naming their own fetuses isn't enough, and eventually they're going to start doing all this to other people's.
Oh, did I mention the name of the group Lisa Musil is involved in?
Lisa is a part of a ministry in Riverside called White As Snow that helps women in crisis pregnancies as well as women and men who are dealing with the pain of abortion.
White As Snow. Yikes.
Ron Stoddart, by the way, was a guest at the Bush White House in 2005 for a discussion of stem-cell research and the adoption of frozen fertility-clinic embryos as "snowflake babies." The Bushies remained in touch with Stoddardt, and referred him to ABC's Jake Tapper in 2006 for a discussion of the snowflake issue. It does not appear that Stoddardt ever discussed adoptions of aborted fetuses with either Bush or Tapper, though that's impossible to determine.