You'd have to file it under small justices, I suppose, but I absolutely adore the suggestion here that George Bush, Jr., who has never known a second of sorrow or regret in his life, who has never doubted the correctness of every decision he's ever made, and who shares his mother's opinion those who've suffered or died because of him are losers and punks who have no business taking up space in his "beautiful mind", may yet know some small unhappiness in this life by being denied his dream job. In a Vanity Fair article back in 2000, one of Bush's lifelong pals told Gail Sheehy that for Bush, " Running for president is a résumé-enhancer for being the commissioner of baseball." It wasn't too long ago that even people who hated Bush were advised that it was naive to act as if he wasn't a serious person and not an overgrown pampered child, but now, is there anyone who sees any point in pretending that what the guy said is in some way implausible? For an, if you'll excuse the clinical terminology, underachieving macho dickhead like Bush, who wants to be seen as one of the boys but also has to be top dog, it's the perfect job; he can spend his golden days in the best seat in the bleachers, watching real athletes doing their jobs and telling himself that they love him. It would be a lot like what he's been doing the past several years--avoiding dissension and debate while sending strangers off to kill and die and telling himself that he's Sgt. Rock--but he'd get to do it in the sunshine, without any mouthy mothers of dead soldiers trying to fuck with his vacation.
I certainly have no trouble thinking that was Bush's mindset back in 2000 and the first half of 2001, when his conception of his presidency was to play golf and clear brush between tax cuts. Then, of course, destiny called, presumably after taking a hasty glance at its address book and accidentally transposing two numbers, but I'll bet that right now, he's more than ready to get back to where he thinks he once belonged. Unfortunately, current Commissioner Bud Selig has just had his contract extended until 2012. According to Bruce Reed, "In a 2002 book, former MLB Commissioner Fay Vincent revealed that he and Bush had discussed the job a decade earlier. According to Vincent, Bush thought he was being groomed for the post by Selig (who had replaced Vincent as acting commissioner in 1992). Bush asked Vincent, 'What do you think about me becoming commissioner?' and 'Do you think I'd be a good commissioner?' He added, 'I've been thinking about it. Selig tells me that he would love to have me be commissioner and he tells me that he can deliver it. Vincent told Bush that Selig wanted the job for himself. Showing the naive, unfounded optimism that has since become his trademark, Bush replied, 'He told me that I'm still his man but that it will take some time to work out.' " Reed dryly adds, "Fifteen years later, Commissioner Selig must still be working on it."